I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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