he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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