how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
