I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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