I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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