Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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