Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
