some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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