She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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