Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
