My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize