There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
