I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
