I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
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