I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
