I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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