so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
