So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
