"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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