the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
