There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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