my sisters under your porch take her home
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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