We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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