what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
