everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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