Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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