I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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