Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
