why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
