Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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