I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
