Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's the barista slut.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
