so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His nipple licking is glorious
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