oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
