Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
