Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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