I'm eating all of the evidence.
I smell stomach acid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
