i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
