Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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