I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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