No, drunk sperm still make babies.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
