I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
