It's Friday. Sex?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
