i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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