yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
