Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
