No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
