i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
