i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
