im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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