that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
