Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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