after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
