Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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