im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
