; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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