I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
