you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
