in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
