Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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