My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
