# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
