Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
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GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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